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So Far, So Good

So here I am, back at my desk.

It feels decidedly odd.

Most of it is having been gone for ten weeks. Usually in my universe, that length of time at home is from a bout of unemployment, and this would be the first day at the new temp assignment. Compounding that sensation is the fact that the department moved to the other end of the building while I was gone. So it’s a new cube in a new space with my things in different places. The digs are much nicer – I’m next to a huge window, it’s very bright, and I’m going to start bringing plants in very soon. But those changes contribute to that feeling of starting new. Then, just to put icing on the cake I have a new twenty inch flat screen monitor – they swapped it out last week. This does not suck, but it adds to the oddness. The chair is new also, and I’m not sure that I care for it.

It all looks familiar, while being very different. This is disconcerting.

Don’t misunderstand, please. I’m not complaining. I’m happy to have my routine back. But I’m a huge creature of habit, and I’m very uncomfortable with change. Very uncomfortable. Did I mention that I don’t like change? Just in case – I don’t like change. So it’s difficult for me to come back to a new layout in a new space and a chair that doesn’t have the imprint of my backside in it. Right now it’s hard to believe that I’ve been here for eight years, because all of this has given me the new job jitters.

But people seem to be happy to see me, and I’m going to try to keep them feeling that way. At the moment I don’t really have anything to do, but as soon as the bulk of the company figures out that I’m back I expect that to change. I figure that within a couple of days it will be business as usual.

By extension, it’s also the first day of day care for Charlotte. This morning went well, although getting up before 5:00 am sucks like a Hoover. I am NOT a morning person. But I got her fed and changed, and both of us dressed and out the door. I was not only on time, I was early. She was awake and grinning when I dropped her off, so I hope she stayed like that. I suspect that if *I’d* broken down into tears that she might have picked up on it and gotten upset. But I’m just not broken up about it. I have no urge to call them. They’ll call me if there is a problem, so if I haven’t heard, everything is fine. It’s not like they can put her on the phone to talk to me. However, I have decided that if she’s going to be spending her day in the crib, rather than on the floor like at home, that I need to pick up a mobile for day care so that she’ll have something to look at. I also need to look through what we’ve got for toys to see if there’s something I can leave there. If not, I’ll go buy something. I don’t want her brain to rot from boredom before she even knows how to use it.

Weird that I’m more communicative when I’m at work than when I’m home.



( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 1st, 2008 08:45 pm (UTC)
I think, considering what you've been doing since you left work, that ANYthing would feel different to you when you got back there. Maybe it's good, in a weay, that they've changed your worlspace. Aside from the fact that it looks nicer (which is always good) there's the fact that YOU have changed too. If you were to try to fit in to your old space with your old routine, it might have been awkward. This is probably a good transition for you.
Dec. 2nd, 2008 04:22 am (UTC)
I'm looking at it as a fresh start. That's always nice when it's someplace where you didn't *need* it. Like I just told Mel, I'm loving the light. That'll make for a happier winter than usual, especially once I move the plants in.

Having offloaded David as part of the department reorg, I'm back to basics with Nell and Diane, and that feels good. Supporting three attorneys was just a little too much sometimes. Two is better - especially when its my ladies.
Dec. 1st, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
The new area and the new screen sound GREAT. I wouldn't want a new chair either, though, if the old one was working for me. (I am a creature of habit, too, actually...I get very stressed if things change suddenly without my permission and if I get stressed I get sick. IBS, MS and all, y'know.)

It's nice that you've got a quiet day or two to readjust, though. Hope Charlotte and you both sink in tidily in the next week or so. :)
Dec. 2nd, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
I LOVE all the natural light. It's going to make this winter so much nicer. Being inside under fluorescents all day and then coming out into the dark is a drag. At least this way I'll see what light there is, and once I get a bunch of plants in there it will be even better. The screen is going to be great once I get it adjusted. Right now everything is kind of stretch-y, and it's wreaking havoc with my eyes. But I'll get it.

The chair annoys me. I'd had the other one since it was new, and it was comfy and adjusted just how I liked it. I crawled under this one today to figure out how it adjusts, so it's better. I may need to bring in a pillow or a lumbar support or something, because it sits back too far.

Luckily for me, I don't get sick when things change and I stress. I just make everyone around me miserable until I come to terms with it.

Things should go well. The temp left my desk really clear, so I should be able to ease right back in. As far as I can tell, Charlotte didn't even notice that I was gone and it was someplace new. So we'll both do well.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )