So here I am, back at my desk.
It feels decidedly odd.
Most of it is having been gone for ten weeks. Usually in my universe, that length of time at home is from a bout of unemployment, and this would be the first day at the new temp assignment. Compounding that sensation is the fact that the department moved to the other end of the building while I was gone. So it’s a new cube in a new space with my things in different places. The digs are much nicer – I’m next to a huge window, it’s very bright, and I’m going to start bringing plants in very soon. But those changes contribute to that feeling of starting new. Then, just to put icing on the cake I have a new twenty inch flat screen monitor – they swapped it out last week. This does not suck, but it adds to the oddness. The chair is new also, and I’m not sure that I care for it.
It all looks familiar, while being very different. This is disconcerting.
Don’t misunderstand, please. I’m not complaining. I’m happy to have my routine back. But I’m a huge creature of habit, and I’m very uncomfortable with change. Very uncomfortable. Did I mention that I don’t like change? Just in case – I don’t like change. So it’s difficult for me to come back to a new layout in a new space and a chair that doesn’t have the imprint of my backside in it. Right now it’s hard to believe that I’ve been here for eight years, because all of this has given me the new job jitters.
But people seem to be happy to see me, and I’m going to try to keep them feeling that way. At the moment I don’t really have anything to do, but as soon as the bulk of the company figures out that I’m back I expect that to change. I figure that within a couple of days it will be business as usual.
By extension, it’s also the first day of day care for Charlotte. This morning went well, although getting up before 5:00 am sucks like a Hoover. I am NOT a morning person. But I got her fed and changed, and both of us dressed and out the door. I was not only on time, I was early. She was awake and grinning when I dropped her off, so I hope she stayed like that. I suspect that if *I’d* broken down into tears that she might have picked up on it and gotten upset. But I’m just not broken up about it. I have no urge to call them. They’ll call me if there is a problem, so if I haven’t heard, everything is fine. It’s not like they can put her on the phone to talk to me. However, I have decided that if she’s going to be spending her day in the crib, rather than on the floor like at home, that I need to pick up a mobile for day care so that she’ll have something to look at. I also need to look through what we’ve got for toys to see if there’s something I can leave there. If not, I’ll go buy something. I don’t want her brain to rot from boredom before she even knows how to use it.
Weird that I’m more communicative when I’m at work than when I’m home.