CVS. Chorionic Villus Sampling. It didn’t take as long as I’d thought, and wasn’t as embarrassing as I had feared. I think Bob was more embarrassed than I was, actually. First the technician did an ultrasound, and we got to see our blur. It’s a mobile little parasite. She said that’s good. About two inches long, she tells us. After that came the sampling. If you want the gory details you can Google it, but I don’t feel like being that graphic here. Suffice it to say that they went trans-cervically, and I’ll leave it at that. Uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. Not painful. The worst sensation was the fact of someone shoving your full bladder out of the way from underneath while someone else leans an ultrasound wand into it from on top. That’ll get your attention! I have to admit that I felt a little queasy watching the tube on the ultrasound poking around at stuff – but I couldn’t not watch, ya know? Oh, and the sensation of stuff being scrubbed out with cotton gauze was really unpleasant. I think I’ll leave it right there – I’m getting more involved than I really want to. At the point where this post is actually available for someone besides me to read, I will elaborate privately on the Mike Rowe/"Dirty Jobs" flashback I had during that portion of the procedure if anyone really wants to know. Let’s just say it was very apropos and extremely inappropriate.
Whole thing took an hour from arrival to departure.
So now we enter the waiting period on two fronts. CVS carries a 1% chance of miscarriage, and it can happen up to a week later. I read somewhere that the first 24 to 48 hours were the likeliest, but I don’t know if that’s trustworthy or not. But if so, I’m safely through the first 24. No bleeding, some cramping. I’d forgotten what fun cramps are – haven’t had to put up with that since I went on the pill for it at 19. But not too bad, and if I’m busy I don’t really notice. I’m thinking positive thoughts, since it’s all I can do at this point.
This really was the right thing to do for us. I know that a lot of people won’t agree, but as two people with no established religious affiliation we determined that what is right and moral for US is to not bring a child into the world that cannot be IN the world. I’m too selfish to give up my life to Downs. I’m too responsible to condemn a child who cannot care for themselves to the care of society after I am gone and cannot provide that care any longer. Those things are a horror to me and I will not perpetuate them. Other choices are obviously right for other people, but in the cold clear light of day, this is right for us.
We can always start over.
The other waiting period is of course, for the results. They grow the recovered placental tissue, and when there is enough they do a chromosome analysis. They’ll check for too many chromosomes, not enough chromosomes, etc. They’ll also know the sex from this. That’ll take ten to fourteen days.
Do I expect a positive Down’s test? No. Who does? Neither do I expect to miscarry. Again, who does? I expect that on the 28th I’ll be figuring out when to tell my parents. It would have been nice to tell them at Easter, but we won’t have anything back that quickly.
So for now, I’m just taking it easy and trying not to over-think. It’s harder not to get attached now that I’ve seen pictures of the little thing, if you know what I mean. I just have to hold onto my cold, reptilian viewpoint for another week and a half. At that point it’s either going to be something that we can rejoice in, or a problem to be resolved.
Yes, I’m a heartless bitch.