This is all passive therapy. I lay there and try to relax the arm and not cry. She tries to get any of the joints in my right arm to move. The problem is that apparently I can't relax. I tried - I really did. But it's not something I can do normally (just ask my massage therapist,) and as soon as it starts to hurt everything tenses.
And it hurts a lot.
I tried my homework tonight, and I can't tell if I'm doing it correctly. I'm supposed to lean forward, letting the arm hang. Then I'm supposed to gently swing it like a pendulum by moving my body and continuing to just let it hang. The problem is that I just can't tell if I'm getting the motion from my torso like I'm supposed to, or if I'm moving my arm with my arm. Can't tell, and I've never been good at relaxing.
I'm also getting tired of having my sleep issues dismissed. I can't sleep on my back. I just can't - I've never been able to. But all I get is "most people find they have to sleep sitting up. If you have a recliner..." I don't have a recliner. I can't sleep sitting up. I can't bloody sleep on my back! I'm a side sleeper. I would shave my head if that would allow me to sleep on my right side for even one night.
At the moment I'm very discouraged. And very tired. And I can't sleep, in case you can't tell by the time stamp.