April 15th, 2013



The more I read about rotator cuff surgery, the more bummed (and ever so slightly panicked) I feel.

Disclaimer: I am putting the theoretical horse before the very real cart here.  Haven't spoken to the doctor yet.  Won't for another fifteen days.  I'm just doing my due diligence on the internet (with all of the misinformation to sort through) so that I have a vague hope of making informed decisions and understanding what they tell me.  But I'm fairly certain that I'm looking at surgery, whether or not there is a stint of PT ahead of it.

It's a long recovery.  Looooonnnnngggggg.  That creates two major issues.

The first is Pennsic.  Pennsic is currently twelve weeks away for us (HOLY CRAP!!!!)  Pennsic with my shoulder immobilized is just a criminally dumb idea.  Messing up my shoulder permanently in order to go to Pennsic should win me a Darwin Award.  If they were to schedule me immediately so that I would be out of the immobile phase and into assisted PT, "taking a week off" from the scheduled PT would be only slightly less stupid.  It's slightly less stupid because presumably I could do it on my own, but I have to think that at the beginning they want to supervise you.  At least I hope so.  Not to mention the issues of getting in and out of garb without using my dominant arm.  Postponing shoulder surgery to go do things that involve lots of heavy lifting is also stupid.  The smart choice here is to plan to give it a pass this year if we're talking about surgery.  One problem with that.

Last year we sat down with their excellencies of An Dubhaigeainn, made a plan, and volunteered to host the Runnymede dinner at this Pennsic.  Projects are underway.  We can't not be there.  I can't send Bob by himself, because I'm not really going to be able to manage by myself.  So we have to plan around Pennsic, and this fills me with trepidation.  I guess we find out more on May 1, but the timing on this ROTS.

Who knows - maybe he'll tell me that I can schedule it any time, and that waiting isn't a big deal.  Except that it HURTS, damn it.

The second bummer is looking at how little I'm going to be able to do afterwards, and for how long.  I've spent seven months in class clawing my way towards being more in shape, and I'm going to have to quit it all, cold turkey, for months.  I cannot even express how depressing that is.  I've been reading a lot of post-surgical guidelines, and naturally they vary wildly depending on the practice and the procedure, but it looks like it's going to be absolutely ages before I can go back to anything other than the treadmill or spinning (and that only in the saddle, probably.)  I know that I've done it once, and can likely do it again, and the instructors will work with me and all that, but I'm bummed.  I've worked really hard at something I despise doing, and I'm resentful that the universe sees fit to make it harder again.

When you add in the fact that I'm not going to be able to do a damn thing around the house and will be entirely dependent on Bob's standards of housekeeping...

I'm just down about the whole thing.  I realize that there's no actual good time to deal with these sorts of things, but this is just so very, very bad...