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Okay, I've had it.

You know guys, sometimes the newest, spiffiest technology isn't necessarily the best way to get things done.  Things that are conceptually very cool and efficient don't always actually WORK!!!

We're working on a transaction that requires due diligence - that's safe enough to say.  The other party has put all of the associated documents out into a virtual data room.  Which I have been attempting to access for MONTHS now.  This is efficient?  Let's see:

My boss' account can't be accessed at all - it's demanding answers to security questions that we never set up, and therefore do not know the answers for.  When we asked them to reset the account so that we can start over (and I explained that we don't HAVE the security questions because we never were able to get in to set them up) they sent us a new password.  Great.  Except that the first thing you have to do is reset the password - and to do that you need to answer the security question.  The one that I just finished telling you we don't have, which is why we need a hard reset.

My account can't be accessed at all.  When I try to go through initial login, it does a system check, tells me that Adobe is not installed correctly and that I need to download a copy of Adobe Reader of 5.0 or higher.  First off, my system is running Adobe Reader 9.2 and Adobe Professional 8.0.  Secondly - END USERS DON'T GET TO INSTALL SOFTWARE ON THE COMPANY SERVERS.  DUH!!!  Seriously people?  When we tried to set up the boss' account the first time, IT was logged in for a good two or three hours trying to find a way to solve this problem that didn't involve carving a hole in our firewall that you can drive a semi-trailer through.  We've got a fairly tight firewall.  Here's a newsflash - many companies this size do.  You would think that a company whose stock in trade is secure data access would understand that a corporation is not going to just throw open their firewall and allow random internet concerns access to our servers...

This morning I logged in using one of the business people's accounts, and I can actually get into the data room .  Of course, I can't look at any of the documents, because they're pdfs, and it wants me to install a new version of Adobe...

Originally I was going to crawl under my desk and sob quietly.  Now, I'm thinking of running amok through the halls with a machete.

Seriously people - just email us the damn documents like normal human beings.  So far you have consumed dozens of man hours in legal and IT, and we don't even have the documents for review to show for it.  Oh, and did I mention that they're so fancy that they don't have a phone number?  You can email them with any problems you have, and they'll get back to you eventually.

Sigh.

My next step is to decide whose tech support I contact first about my account - ours, or theirs.  What I really need is to have BOTH of them on the line together with my IT shadowing my computer.  Yeah - that and a winning lottery ticket.

Jerks.

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Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
hugh_mannity
Jun. 10th, 2010 04:09 pm (UTC)
I've been in a similar situation. It sucks. Unfortunately I think the lottery has better odds. :(
kls_eloise
Jun. 10th, 2010 06:11 pm (UTC)
Oh - I WILL win. It's just a matter of how many bodies I have to throw at it.

This is just so stupid. I admit that the concept is very good. The execution just sucks.
hawkyns
Jun. 10th, 2010 04:26 pm (UTC)
I vote for the machete
kls_eloise
Jun. 10th, 2010 06:12 pm (UTC)
What a shock.

I left out the very beginning of the run amok, where I throw the computer through the window and then go outside and dance on its smashed pieces.
golden_meliades
Jun. 10th, 2010 10:24 pm (UTC)
Sounds like good exercise.
kls_eloise
Jun. 11th, 2010 01:26 pm (UTC)
Given the way I imagine it, it would *defintely* be very good exercise.
rtropeano
Jun. 10th, 2010 06:23 pm (UTC)
Wondering if your pain is being caused by the new data security laws. We now have to use those horrible things due to the law that makes sure we protect our clients information.

We can not disclose any information that contains personal information, yet we are required to do things like disclose 3 years of banking and tax info. It is just insanity.
kls_eloise
Jun. 10th, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC)
I don't think that's it - I think it's just difficult and their focus is on sales rather than actual client support.

I love the fact that although it is against federal law to ask someone for their SSN, every city where I'm applying for a business license is requiring the names, home addresses, and social security numbers of all of the principal officers. Nuts.

I'd rather deal with the FCC any day.
anarra
Jun. 12th, 2010 04:25 pm (UTC)
I noticed the step counter on Thursday. If you throw the computer out the window and dance on the shards for 10 minutes, that's at least 1000 steps.

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )